HEADLINES FROM THE SCROOGE REPORT
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, April 7, 2008
Friday, August 31, 2007
Leona Helmsley Earns This Week’s Top Scrooge Posthumously
"But God said to him, 'You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get it all?
This Week’s Top Scrooge - August 31, 2007
By ALEXANDER
TheScroogeReport.com '
How many church sermons will include the story of Leona Helmsley and her dog, Trouble, this Sunday?
In case you missed it, Trouble...her pet...inherited $12 million. And for good measure, Trouble’s "fortunes" won’t be over even after her life ends. “I direct that when my dog, Trouble, dies, her remains shall be buried next to my remains in the Helmsley mausoleum,” she ordered. And she left another $3 million to ensure that final resting place is well maintained, including money for a yearly wash or steam-cleaning.
Twelve million dollars. That's two more million dollars than two of her grandchildren are getting combined ($5 million each) and $12 million more than her other two grandchildren are getting...because they are getting zippo as in nada, nothing, and zilch.
I don't make this stuff up, folks. Read the online story at CityNews.ca if you want.
If this is not a modern day parable to be told to congregations everywhere on Sunday, then I don't know what is.
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Breaking ScroogeReport: Leona Helmsley Leaves $12 To Her Dog
Helmsley…hmmm, Helmsley… Wasn’t she the one well known as being a *word that rhymes with witch*? File this one under: “confirmed.”
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Naked Bodies Aid In Glacial Shrinkage, Global Warming
This from Reuters:
Hundreds pose naked on shrinking Swiss glacier
ALETSCH GLACIER, Switzerland - Hundreds of people posed naked on Switzerland’s shrinking Aletsch glacier on Saturday for U.S. photographer Spencer Tunick as part of a Greenpeace campaign to raise awareness of global warming.
My first thought? Aren’t those nearly 600 butts of volunteers gonna do some serious glacial meltdown?
Huh? Maybe not? Oh, well.
- Alexander, TheScroogeReport
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Monday, August 13, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
1-800-FLOWERS Lawsuit: Texas Man’s Dirty Laundry Aired in Public…World!
This Week’s Top Scrooge - August 11, 2007
By ALEXANDER
TheScroogeReport.com
This one is short and sweet. Commit adultery? Don’t expect to shoot the messenger!
Apparently, Leroy Greer may not want to kill anyone from 1-800-Flowers, but he is suing the florist company for $1 million for revealing that he was cheating on his wife.
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